


Flags and Disney and Cookies, Oh My!

by feathertail



Series: Trillian RP Fics [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Capture the Flag, Crack, Disney, Gen, Jeez, Loki has a cookie obsession, Multi POV, RP based, catrroom, chatroom, cookiess, ctf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 08:51:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4740293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feathertail/pseuds/feathertail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An rp-based crack fic.</p><p>Started out as a game of capture the flag and went... we don't know where. In chatroom style writing. </p><p>One profanity (and one foreign profanity).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flags and Disney and Cookies, Oh My!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my lovely co-writers/rpers
> 
> Find our tumblrs here -  
> Loki: theenduringstoryteller.tumblr.com  
> Steve: adorable-cinnamon-roll.tumblr.com  
> Pietro (me): feathertailsilverstripe.tumblr.com
> 
> Love you both!
> 
> Rules of the game - you're hit, you stay down for 30 seconds and if you're hit 5 times, you're dead.

Pietro: This isn't fair.  
Loki: Mortals, prepare to be defeated!  
Pietro: Shut it, Lokes.  
This is not a fair match.  
Loki: Ehehehehe. No.  
Why?  
Pietro: Because you're a God, and Steve is like ...  
Pure muscle.  
Loki: I really am a god aren't I?  
Pietro: -_- no shit  
Loki: EHEHEHEHE.  
Pietro: So, where is said pure muscle?  
Loki: The man out of time is awfully quiet. I'm worried. Slightly.  
Pietro: BUCKY BARNES SUCKS  
Loki: What was that!  
Pietro: Me, shouting.  
Oh there he is  
Loki: THERE HE IS!!  
Pietro: It was Loki's idea.  
Steve: You're both GOING DOWN  
Pietro: Nu uh  
Loki: Ehehehehe  
You will never be able to find me!  
Pietro: Prepare to be painted.  
I see you.  
Loki: No!!!  
Pietro: And I just splatter your ASS, Lokes!  
*splatted  
Loki: Damn  
Pietro: Ehehehe  
You didn't see that coming?  
Loki: That is MY line!!!  
You will pay for your mockery!  
Pietro: Down, boy.  
Loki: Unless... you'd rather gang up on the soldier.  
Pietro: You have to stay down for 30 seconds before I can paint you again.  
Steve: You both are going down  
How dare you  
Loki: *lays down and sighs*  
Pietro: ... I wasn't going to say yes, Steen.  
*Steeb  
You don't need to give us a running commentary, Lokesy.  
Loki: *reads book*  
Pietro: -_-  
Loki: Yes I do. I'm dramatic  
Annnnd. I'm gone!  
Pietro: DANGIY  
*DANGIT  
Steve: I can see you Pietro  
Pietro: Nuuuuuuuu you cannnnnt  
Splaaaaaaat  
Steve: Haha  
Loki: ............. Soldier. Turn around.  
Steve: World war champ  
Loki: SPLAT  
Steve: Augh  
Pietro: Splatted ya agaiiiin, Lokes!  
Steve: I'm hit  
Running for cover  
Loki: Nooooo!!!!!!  
I'm gone.  
Pietro: Yusssssss  
Don't give away your cover especially when we're in the same area xD  
Robin Hood and Little John, running through the forest...  
Loki: I think I saw silver....  
EHEHEHEHEHE  
Pietro: Nuuuuu  
Loki: Stay down mortal!  
Pietro: Sod off Lokes  
Let me sing Disney songs in peace :'(  
Loki: So, whomever gets the flag conquers Midgard correct?  
Pietro: No, they win the game  
Loki: What.  
Steve: on your left  
SPLAT X2  
Loki: NOOO  
Another thirty seconds. *sighs*  
Pietro: Cap  
Steve: Yeah..?  
Pietro: Look up  
Loki: Now that song is stuck in my head...  
Pietro: SPLAAAAATTTTT  
Which song?  
Loki: Robin hood and little john....  
Pietro: Ehehehehe  
Loki: That is my laugh you are commandeering!  
Pietro: You didnt see that coming, did you?  
Steve: Oh stop  
Loki: No.  
But I do see the flag.  
Pietro: Zhopa!  
Hey, Lokes.  
Loki: No.  
Busy running.  
Pietro: You should stop humming.  
Steve: Haha  
Pietro: Splut  
... Cap?  
Loki: Splut?  
Pietro: More of an onomatopoeia.  
Loki: Ah.  
Soldier!  
Steve: Aah  
Pietro: FLAGFLAGFLAGFLAGFLAGFLAGFLAG  
Loki: ...... ((keeps running))  
Steve: I don't think so  
SPLAT SPLAT  
Pietro: LOKI STOP WITH THE COMMENTARY  
STEEEEEEEB  
:(  
Loki: I do what I want silver.  
Pietro: Two at once isn't fair!  
Shut your trap Reindeer Games  
Loki: Make me.  
Pietro: SPLAT  
Steve: Flag is mine!  
Loki: Oh wait...  
Pietro: Nuuuuuuuu  
Loki: No way!!  
Bucky barnes is a mewling quim!  
Pietro: SPLAAAAT  
Hah  
SPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLAT  
Steve: HEY  
ILL END YOU  
DONT YOU DARE  
Loki: Either chase me or the flag soldier!  
Steve: TAKE THE NAME OF BUCKY IN VAIN  
Pietro: Hey, guys?  
Loki: What?  
Steve: Yeah?  
Pietro: Looking for something?  
SPLAT SPLAT  
I have the flag  
You two were squabbling like babies  
It was so easy  
Steve: You're mean  
Loki: *plots revenge*  
Pietro: II won  
*I  
Loki: I'm eating your cookies when I get home.  
Pietro: NO! STEEB, TELL HIM!  
I WON FAIR AND SQUARE!  
Steve: you both made fun of my attachment  
Pietro: DID NOT  
Steve: Hmph!  
Pietro: You love me really, Steve  
I'll give you a cookie  
Loki: I'm sorry.  
Pietro: No, you just want my cookies  
Loki: Not true!  
I really am sorry! My mortal will tell you!  
Steve: I love you both  
Pietro: True  
Steve: We can all bake cookies  
Loki: Yay!  
Pietro: Your mortal?  
Hmph.  
Loki: Yes. She takes care of me.  
Steve: That's sweet  
What is her name?  
Pietro: You mean you have a nursemaid?  
Loki: I don't know what that is!  
Her name is Jacqueline.  
Pietro: A nanny  
Another mother  
Loki: No, she is my mortal.  
Pietro: Does she tuck you up at night?  
Loki: I used to call her my pet but she... didn't like that.  
NO!!!  
Pietro: Rather possessive, Lokes.  
Does she kiss you good night?  
Loki: No....  
Pietro: You sure?  
Ehehehe  
Loki: Yes!  
Pietro: :P  
So, she's shown you Disney, eh?  
Loki: Yes. Unfortunately.  
Pietro: Aww, Disney is fun.  
Wanda likes it.  
Steve: That's cute  
Pietro: Yes.  
Loki: Lilo and Stitch was quite sad.  
It's depressing!  
Though I did like Scar from The Lion King.  
Pietro: You would.  
Loki: It was a shame he didn't rule as he should have.  
Steve: That sounds nice  
Pietro: No spoilers for Lilo and Stitch...  
Steve, Scar's the bad guy.  
Steve: No, I mean.. That someone's taking care of you  
Pietro: I liked Mufasa.  
Oh.  
Steve: Simba was my favorite  
Loki: He is not!  
Delayed reply  
Pietro: He is so the bad guy, he kills his brother!  
Loki: ...........  
My mortal would tell me that is bad but I disagree. He is simply going after what he desires.  
And thank you soldier.  
Steve: ^^  
Pietro: ...  
Gaston?  
Steve: Ahah I don't understand  
Loki: What about Gaston?  
Pietro: The baddie, sorry, the guy going after what he wants in Beauty and the Beast.  
Loki: Oh! I didn't like him.  
Pietro: Do you like him?  
Loki: I did like belle though she reminded me of... nevermind.  
Pietro: (Delay)  
Who?  
Steve: Hm?  
Loki: Nope  
Carry on.  
What characters do you like?  
Steve: Me..?  
Loki: No not you!  
Pietro: I liked Robin and the little rabbit from Robin Hood. Marian reminded me of Wanda... she is a romantic too.  
I like Peter Pan, too.  
Loki: Me too.  
Steve: :(  
Pietro: I would have thought you would have liked Hook.  
Captain?  
Loki: I am sorry solider, but you do not remind me of a french woman.  
I have one at home.  
I prefer peter because he causes mischief like me.  
Steve: I meant.. If you were asking me  
What characters I like  
Loki: Oh! Yes you!! Sorry.  
Pietro: Who does Belle remind you of?  
Steve: ,u ^ u  
Loki: ..... Steve still has to answer his question.  
*nervous sweats*  
Pietro: Tell us, asgardian.  
Steve: your answers are more important than mine  
Pietro: Yup  
Loki: No! My answer would be stupid and sentimental. It is not worth saying.  
Pietro: You heard me about Wanda. Tis only fair.  
Steve: You agreed??  
Aah I was trying to be overdramatic  
Because I haven't answered anything  
Humph  
Pietro: ...  
Loki: Hawkward  
Pietro: xD  
Loki: So. Steve, what is your favorite disney character?  
Pietro: Nooooo, you answer first.  
Loki: She reminded me of my mortal at home. There. I said it. Happy?  
Pietro: I am satisfied.  
Loki: Just don't tell her.  
Pietro: I will not intentionally.  
Loki: Because I have an image to keep up.  
Pietro: Of course.  
Do you like Barbie?  
Loki: Who is this mortal?  
Pietro: Look it up.  
Loki: I do not like her  
Steve: Mm  
Pietro: XD  
Garfield.  
Loki: The fat cat? No.  
Pietro: Is there anything you do?  
Loki: Yes of course.  
Pietro: For example...  
Loki: I like... dark chocolate.  
Pietro: Ooh.  
Loki: And cookies!  
Pietro: I am aware of that  
Loki: And stories. My mortal tells good ones. Much better then that glowing box.  
Steve: do you care what I like?  
Loki: I do solider.  
Pietro: You are pretty easy to please.  
Steve: I won't tell unless I am  
Asked  
Pietro: You are Asked.  
Steve: I like apple pie  
And warm blankets  
Loki: A moody fellow isn't he?  
Steve: Hmph!  
Pietro: I favour warm blankets over cold.  
Steve: I'm not answering any more  
*huffs  
Loki: Do you have any weaknesses soldier?  
Pietro: :(  
Loki...  
Loki: What?!  
I'm curious.  
Pietro: Curiosity killed your cat  
Loki: I don't own a cat.  
Pietro: Exactly. It's a dead cat.  
Steve: Why should I admit my weaknesses?  
Loki: You were the one who wanted to be asked.  
Ehehehe...  
Steve: I'm often alone so I sometimes enjoy attention  
*stares into the distance  
Loki: If you want attention you must demand it. Speak first and regret later. That's what I do.  
Pietro: Don't be mean, Lokes.  
Loki: I am not mean I'm trying to help!  
Pietro: -_-  
Steve: That seems impractical  
Loki: *sighs* My mortal wants me to say hi to Steve for her.  
Pietro: o.o  
:(  
Steve: Hi..  
That's nice of her  
Loki: Oh, and she wants to say hi to Pietro.  
Pietro: Hello ;)  
Loki: Don't wink at her!  
Pietro: Nuuu it was :) I'm not creepy I swear  
Loki: ...... *looks suspicious*  
Pietro: :D  
Steve: *whines*  
Pietro: There there, Steve.  
Loki: My mortal would like to know if you would all like to come over for a.... "slumber party" tomorrow.  
Steve: A party? For sleeping?  
Pietro: ?!  
Loki: It apparently is meant to play games and make cookies and build forts. Or so I am told.  
I have no choice in the matter. She is giving me big sad eyes.  
Please say yes.  
Pietro: I am in for the cookies  
Are you a 'sucker' for puppy eyes, then, Loki?  
Loki: Great. Thank you. Steve?  
No!!!!  
Pietro: Oh really.  
Loki: I just don't like it when she cries!  
Steve: Alright, I'll try it!  
Loki: Great! Thank you.  
Pietro: That is being a sucker.  
Loki: *sighs* But I'm not like that with everyone!  
Pietro: There are different kinds of puppy eyes. There are Wanda eyes, which you always fall for. And then there are Stark eyes. Which you never fall for.  
Steve: Hah  
I dunno..  
Sometimes tony is cute  
Pietro: Captain...  
Loki: I would never give anything to Stark. Big eyes or no.  
Pietro: Exactly.  
Loki: But nor would I give the Scarlett Witch anything either.  
Pietro: Laufeyson!  
Loki: What did you expect?  
Pietro: You to be civil about my sister in my presence.  
Loki: I wouldn't give any of you anything for big eyes. Life and death circumstances only.  
Pietro: I would watch your cookie supply, Laufeyson.  
Steve: You gave Thor big eyes..  
Loki: When did I do that?  
And you will never find my secret stash Pietro.  
Pietro: Found it, eaten it, replaced it with shop bought rather than Steve's.  
Loki: Steve's? You know I eat nothing made by him! I only eat cookies made from Asgard.  
A.k.a my mortals home.  
Pietro: Steve has the recipe.  
Loki: He does not!!  
Pietro: Does too  
Loki: Does not!  
Pietro: DOES TOO  
Loki: DOES NOT MULTIPLIED 10000009099X'S WHATEVER YOU SAY!!  
Steve!!!!  
Pietro: DOES TOO TIMES INFINITY PADLOCK  
Loki: SOLDIER!!! TELL US THE TRUTH!!!  
My mortal would never give him her recipe. *folds arms*  
Steve: I do,  
Pietro: BUCKY stole it  
Steve: HEY  
Leave Bucks out of this  
Pietro: With help from Nat and Clint  
And me  
Steve: I have friends in high places  
Loki: I WILL DESTROY EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!!!!!  
Pietro: XD  
Steve: Come at me  
Pietro: Nice try  
Steve: Fite me irl  
Pietro: We are the Avengers  
And we are epic.  
Loki: Done.  
Meet me in the ally in three hours.  
Steve: *potentially regretting this  
Pietro: I'll be there, as will the others.  
Loki: No one. Not anyone can harm my mortal do you understand! I want her recipe back now!!!  
Pietro: Well if no one is there then there is no one to get the recipe off  
Steve: But I have it memorized  
Pietro: Zactly  
Loki: Why would you do this to us?!  
You thieves!!  
Steve: I'm not a thief!  
Loki: Pietro said you all stole her recipe!  
Pietro: Did not  
Loki: And I quote: "BUCKY stole it with help from Nat and Clint and me"  
Thieves. And Steve agreed to it!  
Pietro: Not all  
Steve: No! No!!  
I'm not!!  
Loki: Prove your innocence Rogers.  
Pietro: It was a birthday present...  
From us  
Steve: I've never stolen anything in my life!  
Who even said it was stolen aside from you?  
Pietro: True  
Loki: Pietro did!!  
Scroll up!  
Pietro: Pietro is half dead  
Steve: No Pietro  
Don't die!  
Pietro: Half dead, not fully dead  
Loki: *scowls* You will all pay for this. I will avenge her!  
Steve: I meant no disrespect  
Pietro: You're not an Avenger  
I did  
Loki: I am now.  
Steve: I'm the captain  
Only if I say so  
Pietro: Ha  
Loki: If you give back the recipe Steve, I will forgive your ignorance.  
And I also will not tell my mortal what your team has done.  
Steve: Well.. Maybe she won't even be angry  
Loki: That's just it. She doesn't get angry. She cries. I have to be angry for her.  
Please, just give it back!  
Steve: Maybe we can apologize??  
I don't want her to cry  
Loki: Yes. Do that! Tomorrow when you come over bring the recipe and explain yourself. She is a forgiving girl...  
She has to be to be with me.  
Steve: Alright..  
I don't understand why the recipe has to be secret  
Loki: She made the recipe for me especially. *grins*  
Steve: *whispers* you guys like eachother  
Loki: *blushes bright red.* She doesn't completely annoy me so yes I suppose I don't dislike her.  
Steve: Awwwwww  
That's adorable  
Loki: It is not!!!  
Steve: Mhmm!  
Loki: No it isn't she is my mortal and nothing more. I barely like her!  
Steve: What if I told her you said that?  
Loki: Don't. You. Dare.  
Steve: 0 w 0  
Pietro: Can I dare?  
Loki: No!!!  
Pietro: :(  
Loki: *breathes a sigh of relief* Okay, so everything will be worked out tomorrow right Steve?  
Steve: Yes, I promise !  
Loki: Okay, thank you.  
Steve: You're very welcome  
Loki: *phew* So what do you mortals do... usually. When you aren't stealing recipes?  
Pietro: Sleep  
Steve: Train the team  
Loki: Hmm. Like, for fun?  
Pietro: And sleep.  
Loki: And.. sleep. How amusing.  
Steve: Mm  
Sleep is nice  
Pietro: Nice.

**Author's Note:**

> Zhopa, a word Pietro uses, means 'ass'. :)


End file.
